Jokes
by Zaraizabell
Summary: The Team is about to get killed. "Wait!" the boy wonder exclaimed, "don't I get to say a few words before I die?" R


"Wait!" the boy wonder exclaimed, "don't I get to say a few words before I die?"

The rest of the team stared at him in confusion.

Captain Cold said, "Fine."

Robin smiled winningly. It was so different from the usual cocky smile he gave everyone. It was impossible for the various villains and heroes in the room not to smile back.

Robin said, "It all started with an elephant."

Trickster asked, "What do you mean?"

Robin said, "Well, it all really started with several elephants and a Volkswagen Bug."

Captain Boomarang asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Robin asked, "How many elephants can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug?"

Several of them made quick mental calculations.

Kid Flash suggested, "Five."

Artemis said, "No Bay Watch, more like two."

Robin shook his head at both of these.

Mirror Master tried, "six?"

Robin shook his head again and said, "Seven."

Trickster asked, "How?"

Robin explained with an even brighter smile, "Two in the front seat, three in the back seat, one in the trunk, and one in the glove compartment."

Trickster laughed.

Robin continued, "Now, how do you kill an elephant?"

Captain Cold suggested, "With a Freeze Gun."

"No," Mirror Master disagreed, "With mirror fragments."

Trickster suggested, "With a ton of peanuts."

Captain Boomarang said, "It's gotta be with a boomarang."

Robin said, "No, you use an elephant gun." He waited a beat before continuing, "Now, how do you kill a blue elephant?"

Ms. Martian suggested, attempting to follow the logic, "You use the elephant gun?"

Robin replied, "No, you use a blue elephant gun." The villains nodded in understanding, though most of the heroes thought it made no sense. Robin continued, "How do you kill a pink elephant?"

Kid Flash proclaimed, "With a pink elephant gun!"

Robin shook his head and looked at Kid Flash like he was an idiot. Then he said, "No, that's just silly. You hold it's trunk until it turns blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun."

Superboy looked at Robin like he was crazy. Aqualad was knocked out, or he probably would have questioned the boy himself. Kid Flash looked disappointed. Artemis was catching on. Ms. Martian looked at the villains, who seemed to agree with Robin, then back at the young boy, and decided she would have to check his mind when they got back to the cave.

Robin continued, "Now, how do you kill a white elephant?"

Captain Cold suggested, "You freeze it, so it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun."

"No," Robin explained, "You tell it dirty jokes until it turns pink, hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun." Robin waited a second before asking, "Now, how do you kill a green elephant?"

Artemis suggested, "You yell to make him guilty and turn white, then tell him dirty jokes till he turns pink, hold his nose until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun."

Robin looked at her like she was crazy and said, "No you crazy. There are no green elephants. Now, how do you get an elephant in your refrigerator?"

Captain Cold said, "You freeze him and slide him in."

Robin said, "No, you open the door, insert an elephant, and close the door. Now, how do you get eight elephants in your freezer?"

Ms. Martian guessed, "You open the door, stick in eight elephants, then close the door?"

Robin said, "No, you open the door, make sure the other elephant stays inside, put in your Volkswagen Bug and close the door. The real question is, how do you get a giraffe in the refrigerator?"

Trickster said, "You open the door and push him inside."

Robin said, "Nope, you open the door, take out the Volkswagen Bug and the elephant, then put in the giraffe and close the door. What's the difference between an elephant and a plum?"

Superboy said, "A plum is a fraction of an elephants size."

Robin rolled his eyes, managing to make it obvious enough for all to see, and said, "Plums are purple. Elephants are gray. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants come running over the hill?"

Superboy suggested, "Look here come the elephants."

Robin said with a pout, "It's no fun when you guess right." He perked up and asked, "What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants come running over the hill in sunglasses?"

Ms. Martian said, "Look here come the elephants in sunglasses."

Robin said, "No, he said nothing. He didn't recognize them. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants come running over the hill?"

Captain Boomarang said, "Look here come the elephants."

Robin said, "No, she said, 'look here come the plums.' Jane was color blind."

The villains and heroes laughed at this.

Robin asked, "Why do elephants lie on their backs with their feet in the air?"

Trickster said, "to trip Flash!"

Robin said, "Close, it's to trip low flying canaries. Now..."

He was interrupted by the Joker coming back in.

Trickster said, "Darn it, those were the best jokes I've heard in a while."

Joker asked, "Oh, has the little birdie started to sing?"

Robin asked, "Do you want to know why I'm so short?"

The team and villains looked at him in confusion.

Robin explained, "I went in the jungle between three and four in the afternoon."

Joker asked, "What does that have to do with anything?"

Robin explained, "That's when the elephants jump out of trees. Why did the first elephant jump out of a tree?"

Captain Boomarang suggested, "He got hit with a boomarang."

Robin said, "No, he fell asleep. Why did the second elephant jump out of a tree?"

Kid Flash said, "He fell asleep to."

Robin said, "No, he was glued to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant jump out of the tree?"

Artemis said, "He got hit by a plane."

Robin said, "No, he thought it was a game."

Joker laughed heartily.

Robin asked, "Why are elephants feet flat?"

Ms. Martian asked, "Why?"

Robin said, "From jumping out of trees. How do elephants get into trees?"

Trickster suggested, "Using gigantic sling shots?"

Robin said, "They plant a seed, sit on it, wait a few years, then they are in a tree."

The sound of glass breaking stopped Robin from telling more jokes. Flash rushed in and grabbed Trickster. Batman started fighting the Joker. Aquaman took down Mirror Master. Martian Manhunter took out Captain Boomarang. Green Arrow fought off Captain Cold.

They got back to the cave and where half way through the debriefing by the time they got to the part where Robin had exclaimed that he wanted to say a few last words.

Batman looked at his protege and the entire team could swear that he smiled a little.

Green Arrow asked, "How did you know telling elephant jokes would work?"

Robin said, "It worked on the Riddler when I was nine."

The assembled heroes just stared at him for a minute. Then they just started laughing. Part of it was from shock. Part of it was from the jokes. Most of it was from the image of a nine year old Robin telling impossible to understand jokes to a mad man.

Robin said, "Thus is the glory of Elephant Jokes."

**This story was written when I was reminded that Robin often distracts villains by being him, though mostly it was just for love of Elephant Jokes. If I left out any favorites, post them in a review, and I'll write a follow up about the time with the Riddler. That's only if I get enough though. By the way, if anyone out there knows the kind of punctuation to use when writing Captain Boomarang, I could use some help. On a final note, this is most certainly a distraction from the much longer story I've been writing called Blue Jay. This was much easier to write then Chapter 15 has proven to be. I'll fix any sentence errors pointed out specifically in reviews. Thank you for reading. All reviews are read and appreciated.**

**-Zaraizabella**


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